Annabeth's Spidery Skirmish
by buttersideupper
Summary: Oneshots about Annabeth and various spiders. Some Percabeth.
1. Percy Pulls a Romeo

**I would like to thank the spider that was on my ceiling a few days ago for being the inspiration for this story thing. I would also like to thank my mother for killing the spider...**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**& & &**

**Annabeth's Spidery Skirmish**

**or**

**Percy Pulls a Romeo**

**& & &**

I was stretched across my bed, reading A History of Architecture, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. It was nothing the common person would be concerned about, yet I still let out one of those high-pitched, girly screams you hear in horror movies. On the wall of my room was a black spider, about an inch wide. I jumped off of the bed and ran to the other end of my room.

"Dad! Bobby! Matthew!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who killed it as long as _someone _did. I was not going to touch it, or get any closer than I had to. No one was answering my call.

I muttered Greek curses under my breath. I vaguely remembered my step mom yelling up the stairs something about grocery shopping about a half-hour ago. Why did everyone have to go shopping right when I needed them the most? I edged my way around my room until I was able to reach the telephone.

Picking up the receiver, I dialed my dad's cell phone number. It was completely useless, as I could hear it ringing in his study. I made a mental note to remind him to always have his phone on hand. Next I tried my stepmother's number. She did not pick up, and I didn't bother to leave a message. Finally, as a last resort, I dialed Percy's home phone number.

_Ring._

_Ring._

"Hello? Jackson residence," a woman's voice answered the phone.

"Ms. Jackson?" I asked, "Is Percy there? This is Annabeth."

The voice came over the other line again after a few seconds pause, "Yes, he is…is everything okay? Your voice sounds unusual."

"No, Ms. Jackson, I'm fine. I just _really_, _really_ have to talk to Percy."

"Okay, just a moment," she sounded unsure.

I waited. It felt like forever, holding the telephone to my ear and keeping an eye on the spider to make sure it didn't go anywhere.

Relief washed over me when Percy's voice flowed from the receiver. "Annabeth?"

"Percy? Where are you?"

"I'm at…home," he said slowly.

Oh, right, that was slightly obvious.

Wait. He was at home? New York City.

In all of my excitement I had forgotten that he lived on the other side of the country. This created yet another problem.

"I need your help."

"What is going on? Why didn't you send me an Iris Message?" his voice was genuinely concerned.

"There. Is. A. Spider. On. My. Wall. I can't leave or it will get away," I said, enunciating each word of the first sentence. I heard his muffled laughter on the other end. I glowered at the telephone. I could imagine his mother standing next to him, a look of worry plastered across her features while her son laughed at his best friend in her time of great need.

When his laughter subsided he said, "Can't someone just kill it for you?"

"They aren't here; they went to the grocery store."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone."

He sighed when he said, "Are you sure you can't get it yourself?"

"Positive."

"Annabeth, I can't come all the way across the country to kill a spider for you." Though I felt better for my imaginary Ms. Jackson—she would now understand that Percy wasn't laughing at me about a monster, I still became immensely annoyed with him.

"Why not?" I wined. Then I gasped loudly when I saw the spider move it's leg a fraction of an inch, "Percy, you don't understand. This is not cool. No one will be home for at_ least_ another two hours. They take _forever_ at the store."

Percy sighed once again.

"Don't you have a…I don't know a pole or something you can squish it with?"

At this I almost went crazy, "You mean…you want me to…squish spider guts into my wall! And why on earth would I have a pole in my room? That is the stupidest idea you have ever had, Seaweed Brain! What is it, bonehead day?"

"Okay, Wise Girl, what do _you_ want me to do?" Percy inquired.

"What kind of question was that? You know exactly what I want you to do! You need to get your butt down here and kill this spider!" I yelled at the telephone.

"Your family will be home by the time I can get to San Francisco!" he roared back.

"Ugh! Seaweed Brain! You are such a pain!"

We were in an all out shouting match, now. Neither one of us was backing down.

Finally, after shrieking into the phone because the spider had crawled up the wall six or seven inches, Percy finally gave in.

"If there is no way for me to get there in the next forty-five five minutes," he said, "I'll call you back, so stay near the phone."

"Okay," I replied, I was calmer now, "And Seaweed Brain?"

"Huh?"

"Thanks," with that said, I turned off the phone.

& & &

Forty-four minutes and fifty-five seconds later, I was sitting on the floor of my room and staring defiantly at the spider on the wall, waiting for Percy.

_Ding-dong_: the doorbell rang.

"Come in!" I yelled, hoping he heard me. I assumed it was Percy. He had a knack for getting places right in the knick of time. I waited and waited for him to come through my bedroom door.

A small stone struck the glass part of my window. I inched my way to the window and shoved it open. Percy was standing below on my front lawn.

"The door is locked!" he shouted.

I should have seen this coming.

"Did you try the back door?" I retorted.

He nodded, "And the garage door is closed," he added.

For the first time in an hour I took both of my eyes off of the accursed spider, and stuck my head out the window. I scanned what I could of the house, trying to find a way for Percy to get in. Since I wasn't about to leave my room, and I knew no one else would have their window open, I could only count on Percy being able to climb up the side of the house and through my window. I told him his two options: (a) he could climb up the tree outside my window and attempt to swing in the window, or (b) he could somehow climb onto the roof of the front porch and lift himself through the window by his own strength.

Personally, I hoped he chose the latter. He wouldn't be very graceful if he had to swing through my window, and I wondered if the top of the tree would be able to support a teenage boy's weight.

"Are you sure you don't have a ladder available, or something?" he called.

"Yep," we had one in the garage, but he couldn't get in there unless it was open. Which it wasn't.

I turned my attention back to the spider. It was slowly creeping up the wall.

"Hurry up, Seaweed Brain! It's going to crawl away any second!"

He muttered to himself as he ascended up the trellis on the side of the house. Quickly, I saw his strategy. He hopped off the trellis and was on top of the porch roof. He then made his way until he was underneath my window. I had to wonder how it would look if any of my neighbors looked out their windows as I helped him through my own.

"Percy! Percy! Get the spider! Hurry!" I said to him hysterically, as he toppled through the window. I noted how much less poised he could have looked if he had jumped through the window.

"Nice to see you too, Annabeth," Percy walked out my door, "I'll be right back."

"Whoa, wait, where are you going? Don't leave me here!" I shrieked at him hastily.

"Relax, I'll be right back."

He returned nine seconds later with a wad of white toilet paper in his hand. From there, he climbed on my bed and picked the spider off the wall with it. I followed him as he walked out of my room and towards the bathroom. He dropped the wad in the toilet and asked me, "Do you want to do the honors?"

I shook my head, "No, just get rid of it."

It felt like Artemis had just lifted the burden of the sky off my shoulders again as I watched the spider swirl downward towards it's watery grave. I breathed a sigh of relief.

A small chuckle escaped Percy. I looked over at him, "What?"

"You're just weird, that's all," I glared at him, and he said, "Don't look at _me_ like that! I just traveled across the country to save you from a _spider_!"

"How_ did_ you get here, anyway?" I wondered aloud.

He shrugged, "My dad."

"Ah," I paused for a moment, "What made you come?"

He blushed, "You're my best friend," I smiled to myself when he said that and hugged him unexpectedly. He stood there awkwardly when I pulled away.

& & &

Percy and I were sitting in the kitchen eating Oreos when my family got home from their grocery run. They were all surprised to see Percy sitting across from me.

"Is everything all right?" my dad asked. The first time Percy showed up unexpectedly at our house, it was to tell him that he and a few others were going to try to rescue me from Mount Tam.

Percy and I exchanged glances and Percy said, "We just ran into a bit of an emergency," seeing the look on my dad's face, he added swiftly, "Nothing serious."

My dad scrutinized our faces, and deciding that we were telling the truth, he said, "I'm going to help take the groceries inside. You can stay for dinner if you like Percy; just call your mother first, okay? Annabeth can you get the phone for him?"

"'Kay, Dad," I turned to Percy before getting out of my seat, "Really, Seaweed Brain, thanks, and I mean it a lot."

He smiled and said, "Your welcome."

I knew I could always count on Percy Jackson.

**& & &**

**Corny last line, I know. I couldn't think of anything better.**

**Please review!**


	2. Annabeth Almost Eats a Spider

**Annabeth Almost Eats A Spider—Ten-ish Years Later**

**& & &**

"Mr. Jackson, your wife is on line three," the stifled voice of the office secretary projected from a little box on my desk while I was getting ready to leave for lunch.

I sighed, wondering what it would be this time. Usually when Annabeth called me, it was about food cravings. It was always the weird stuff: salt and vinegar chips with peanut butter, carrots and Heath candy bars, food like that. She was extra-hormonal too, so if the food didn't show up at least ten minutes after she called me, she got all worried and stressed out.

I picked up the phone, "Annabeth?"

"Percy? Oh, good, it's you. We are still going out for lunch right? I'm starving, and I have had this _huge_ craving for ravioli and mayonnaise _all day_. I don't even like mayonnaise! Oh and I talked to—"

"Yes, sweetheart, we'll talk it over at lunch, I need to get going," I glanced at my watch.

"Okay, bye, Percy. I love you."

"Love you too, bye," I sat the receiver in its cradle and made my way to the parking lot.

& & &

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting outside at an Italian restaurant with Annabeth. She was waiting impatiently for her ravioli, drumming her fingers on the table, and I concentrated on watching her.

"What?" she asked defensively when she saw I was staring at her. I smiled and shook my head.

"You said you talked to someone…" I trailed off, hoping she would finish it. Her eyes lit up.

"Yeah, Roy Brandon called, he said that he wanted to close on the plan for his office building," she told me, "He should be calling the main office later today."

Annabeth worked for an architecture firm in New York City. Roy Brandon was a big name contractor in the city, and getting a deal with him was _big._ For being twenty five, Annabeth was on a roll. It took most people years to establish themselves, and she had already gotten a contract with one of the most established companies in New York City. Everything she had hoped for was looming just in sight. She wasn't quite building monuments to the gods yet, but she was well on her way.

When she got pregnant, she insisted that she keep working from home. I tried to tell her to take it easy, but she was almost busier than ever. Not to the mention the fact that she was due at any time.

The waiter brought us a plateful of ravioli and another of spaghetti. Annabeth happily dipped her ravioli in mayonnaise, which didn't particularly _look _appealing, but I silenced my opinion and twisted spaghetti around my fork.

I was filling my mouth with spaghetti, when I heard a sudden squeal and a clatter of silverware hitting the table. The metal chair Annabeth was sitting in groaned as it was pushed backwards. Hurriedly, I swallowed the lump of spaghetti in my throat.

"Annabeth? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" I questioned her.

"Percy! Percy, get the spider! Get the spider!" I was somewhat relieved. This had happened before; it was something I could handle. I picked up a napkin lying on the table and leaned over to get the black pest. It made an attempt to scurry away under Annabeth's plate.

Annabeth screeched again. Several more people turned to look at what all the commotion was. I could only imagine what was going through their heads just then.

I moved her plate to my end of the circular table. By this time, Annabeth was practically cowering behind me. I made a second grab for the spider. I squished it in the napkin, looking around for a wastebasket. I spotted one by the door to go inside and dropped it in there.

When I returned to the table, Annabeth was frowning to herself.

"Thank you," she said quietly, then she looked at me, "I need to talk to the manager."

She pushed past me, "Annabeth, sweetheart, wait. We were outside, there is no avoiding the bugs," I replied swiftly.

She ignored me and continued to walk—well, waddle really—to the front desk. I waited a bit before following her.

I heard her faintly begin to speak, "I'd like to file a complaint."

"Annabeth is this really necessary?" I asked her when I caught up to her.

"Yes. It is actually."

I sighed, and turned to the lady at the desk, "Can you excuse us for a minute?"

The lady nodded her head, she looked a bit confused.

"What are you _doing_?" Annabeth whispered harshly.

"You are not going to file a complaint because of a spider."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"What if I had accidentally _eaten_ it?" Annabeth asked me.

I sighed once again, "You would not have eaten the spider."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

She glowered at me, "What if I—"

"Ma'am is everything all right?" the lady at the desk looked concerned.

Annabeth paused for a second, as if she were trying to decide if she should say what she was thinking, "No. I'm not, to tell you the truth. As if being a stressed out, pregnant woman isn't enough. I almost ate a spider." Her voice had gone up a few decibels.

I began, "She did not alm—"

"Percy! Stop! And now my own_ husband_ is saying that I am not allowed to file a complaint."

"Annabeth, let's just go."

The woman at the desk furrowed her eyebrows. "You know, if it is really that important, I suppose you could speak to the manager…"

Annabeth smiled triumphantly at me, "That would be—" she stopped mid-sentence, grabbed my arm, and turned her head slowly towards me. Her expression changed.

"Annabeth?" I asked uneasily.

"I think my water just broke."

Ah, the joys of really pregnant, hormonal women.


	3. Annabeth Hires Some Boy Scout HitMen

**Annabeth Hires Some Boy Scout Hit-Men**

**& & &**

"Seth, honey, please, Mommy's on the phone," I covered the mouth of the receiver. My three year old son was crawling on the floor of the laundry room with a basket on top of him, yelling at me, trying to get me to watch him be a turtle.

He burst out crying, "Mommy, watch me!"

"I'm watching, Seth. It's very nice." I uncovered the mouth of the receiver. "Grover…yes Percy and I would love to visit, but I don't think that's possible right now…" I trailed off; letting Grover tell me how different Camp Half-Blood was since we had last been there. Between Seth and work and home…

I sighed.

"We_ will_ visit. Just not now, okay?"

"Fine," he answered.

"Alright. Buh-bye."

"Bye, Annabeth."

I ended the connection on the phone and leaned against the dryer. I was so…_busy._ I was still working, mostly from home, which made it easier on me being a mother, but it meant countless phone calls and people stopping in.

I had to constantly keep an eye on Seth. Where most three year olds are bad, try having a little boy with ADHD. He never stopped moving and wreaking havoc. It was the worst when I was working or on the phone or doing housework. He asked me question after question and never stopped talking to me.

Percy had offered to act as a stay-at-home-dad until he got older, but I refused. I wasn't about to put Seth in day care either.

A. I wasn't going to miss the chance to be a mother.

B. It wasn't so bad, once I got past the business. I loved everything about what I did. The good and the bad.

C. I wasn't sure how happy Percy would be about not working. He pretended like he wouldn't mind, because he knew how much I wanted to be an architect; but I think he wanted to bring in income for his family. Something about male masculinity.

I rolled my eyes at the last notion. _Men. _

I was jerked from my thoughts at Seth wrapping his arms around my leg, trying to squeeze himself between me and the dryer.

"What's wrong baby?" I couldn't help but smile at how sweet he was. I picked him up and placed him on my hip.

He cupped a hand over my ear and whispered, "There is a yucky bug by my basket."

I frowned. "What kind of bug?" Seth wasn't usually concerned about things like this. I'd once caught him trying to eat a ladybug when he was an infant and just barely had time to stop him.

Seth's sea green eyes widened. "A spider."

I froze and swallowed hard. "Where is it?"

Seth made a pouty face. "I told you mommy, it's by my basket. Weren't you listening?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, Seth, _where_ is it_ by_ the basket?" I couldn't see it. I was right next to the door by the washer and dryer, and Seth had been playing at the other end of the small room. I wasn't getting any closer either; I was staying right by the door. I had to remind myself not to flip out, if only for my son's sake. But all I could think was, _There is a _spider_ in my house and I don't know where it is._

"It's on the wall, in the corner," he whispered into my ear again, like he didn't want the spider to know we knew where it was, for fear that it would move.

I zeroed in on the corner of the white room. Sure enough, it was a spider, thin and wiry, but it was big—a grand daddy-longlegs maybe. It didn't even look like an _animal_, it was just an almond with long, skinny legs. Something that the Ares cabin would have dismembered and watched squirm. I shuddered.

I jumped as the doorbell rang.

"Seth, you're a big boy, right?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"Can you stay here and watch the spider, while mommy answers the door?" I was reluctant to leave him alone, but the spider would keep him occupied.

"Yes."

"If it moves, scream as loud as you can, okay?"

"Okay."

With that, I set him down, kissed him on top of his curly, blonde head, and made a mad dash to the front door.

"Hello?" I opened the door. There was two boys, one with cropped brown hair and glasses, the other with blond hair. They both had on grayish-tan colored shirts and scarves. They were twelve or thirteen at the most.

The brown haired one smiled. "Hi, I'm Matthew and this," he motioned to his friend, "is Ethan! Would you like to buy some popcorn?"

I didn't need this right now. "Sorry, I'm kind of busy—" A scream erupted from Seth, coming from the other end of the house. "Listen though. If you help me, I'll buy your popcorn, alright? I'll even pay you if you want." My voice was almost pleading.

The word 'pay' seemed to alert both of them, but they still seemed hesitant. The blond-haired boy, Ethan, spoke this time, "What do you need ma'am?"

"There is a spider in my laundry room, and I need someone to get rid of it," The boys exchanged glances. I knew that was probably something a kidnapper would say to lure kids into the house. No doubt they had been taught not to go into other people's houses. "Please…I'm begging you. I'm not going to kidnap you—"

"Kidnap us? Puh-lease. _We_ know self-defense," Matthew smirked and Ethan nudged him in the gut. I rolled my eyes inwardly. _Self-defense_ doesn't have much effect on someone who has been fighting monsters and trying not to die practically her entire life. Not that I was going to tell them that.

"So you'll help me?"

"Yes," Matthew decided.

I opened up the storm door to let them inside. Then I motioned for them to follow me to the laundry room. When we got there, Seth still was watching the spider. I picked him up off the floor again.

"Is it still here?" I asked the little three year old. He nodded his head triumphantly and I kissed him on his forehead. "Nice job, buddy."

"Where is it?" asked Matthew.

I shifted Seth to my other hip. "It's in the corner, above that laundry basket."

Ethan walked up to the spider and bent down, his face just inches from it. Then, without any warning, he plucked it off the wall and set in the palm of his hand. I grimaced. "What do I do with—"

"Annabeth!" a male voice was calling me, and he was walking down the hallway. It sounded like a lot like Percy.

"I'm in the laundry room!"

"Annabeth!" Percy skidded to a halt in front of the laundry room door, kissing my cheek as he took Seth from me.

"Daddy guess _what_!" Seth shouted. This was the most interesting thing that had happened to him all day.

Percy looked like he was going to ask what, but he stopped suddenly, seeming to notice the boys for the first time. A confused look crossed his face, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"Why are there two Boy Scouts in our laundry room?" he asked.

"Um…they are…uh…killing a spider for me," I replied, and Percy stifled a laugh.

"Hey!" exclaimed Ethan. "Who said anything about _killing_ it?"

"Well, that was the general idea…"

"Yeah! Why can't we just take it outside?" Matthew argued.

"Because. It will crawl back in the house." I stated matter-of-factly.

Both of the boys looked at me like I was crazy. "Whatever…let's go Ethan." Matthew mumbled, walking out the door. Ethan followed, taking the spider with him. As they walked down the hall I heard them muttering something like: "Girls…she's nuts…"

I stood there open mouthed. Percy, I knew was trying his hardest not to bust up laughing.

"The spider is gone, right?" I asked Percy.

"Yeah, it's is," he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief, blowing loose hair off my face. "Am I that crazy, Percy?" I wondered out loud.

Percy put the arm that wasn't supporting Seth over my shoulder and kissed my temple, "Is that a rhetorical question?" he asked with a small smile.

I pinched him. Hard. He deserved it for that one.


	4. A Battle Plan, of Sorts

**Warnings for abuse of a certain spider.**

**A special thank you to anyone who reviewed, alerted, or favorite'd. Thanks for reading!**

**& & &**

**A Battle Plan, of Sorts**

**& & &**

Annabeth has to pee. Bad.

But that's the least of her problems…which is kind of the problem.

She stands resentfully at the door of the bathroom, armed with paper towels and a rubber mallet she keeps around the apartment. She is eyeing the wall across from her, focusing in on a tiny blackish-brownish-greyish speck. Annabeth has always thought the floral wallpaper couldn't be any uglier, but she's been proved very, very wrong.

There. Look closely, now.

And get past the ugly wallpaper already.

Just above a disgustingly pink peony is the aforementioned blackish-brownish-greyish speck. Further examination of the speck shows that it has legs and eyes and tiny little tufts of fur, but Annabeth refuses to get close enough to see that.

She takes a deep breath, hugging the hammer to her chest like an amulet.

_This is ridiculous,_ she tells herself_. Really, Annabeth_, _get_ _a backbone_.

She checks one more time to make sure that the paper towel really _is_ in her hand and that the hammer is perfectly situated in her palm. Slowly but surely, she inches into the bathroom, taking necessary precautions so that the spider _doesn't move_. Annabeth steadily moves the trash bin as far as she can, then nudges it with her toe the rest of the way so that it's directly underneath the spider; she pulls her leg back to where she's standing as fast as she can, her sigh flooded with relief.

Well then.

Annabeth whips out the paper towel and holds it as far ahead of her as she can. She's opted for a direct attack (because it won't see her coming—obviously). With another deep breath she holds the towel as close as she can to the wall without _actually_ being near it. The rubber head is in the air, ready for assault. She closes her eyes and mutters a quick prayer.

One.

Two…

Two and a half.

Three.

Annabeth covers the bug with the sheet and smashes the hammer against the wall. Not hard enough to put a hole in the wall, of course, but hard enough to kill a measly spider. (Though, if the horrendous, flowery wallpaper is damaged in the process, so be it.)

When she balls up the paper in her fingers, she expects to see a little bit of squished dead stuff on the other side, but no. She checks the trash bin, maybe it fell in.

Again. No.

Oh, snap.

She's sure she sees something scuttle past her feet. Shrieking hysterically, she dives into the bathtub. She's on her knees now, leaning over the tub with her weapon outstretched, scanning the floor with a hostile expression on her face.

Aha! There!

The halfblood pounds her mallet into the linoleum floor like a savage until she's sure it's dead. Only stopping when, finally, all that's left is a tiny puddle of bug juice.

Unexpectedly, she hears a male voice call out from down the hallway. "Annabeth? Are you okay? I let myself in 'cause I heard—"

There's a pause while Percy assesses the situation. Annabeth holding a sledgehammer, sitting in a bathtub looking murderous and a sketchy-looking stain on the bathroom floor. Hm.

"Annabeth?"

She turns her head slightly and looks up at him, smiling weakly. "Um…hi?"

"Annabeth…what are you _doing_?"

She looks from Percy's face to the hammer to the stain on the fake tiling. _Don't say anything stupid._

Yeah. Okay.

"I was…uh…going to the bathroom?"


End file.
